If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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