i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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