Is it normal to miss your booty call?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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