i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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