he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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