She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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