I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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