ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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