Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
