I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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