Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
