It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
