Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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