Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
