Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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