The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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