We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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