As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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