So drunk its hurt
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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