She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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