You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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