Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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