Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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