Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
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I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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