Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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