she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
ttyl tear gas
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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