You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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