Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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