i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
