i was born a porn star she said
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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