Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
