I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
