He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
