i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize