i think i have herpe
just one?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
