He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
