let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
did i walk over a car last night?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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