for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize