a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think i got beer on your cat.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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