Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
