i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
