Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
