She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
