omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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