my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize