i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
