I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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