she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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