if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
