Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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