They should really pass out barf bags in church
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I need a beard to bite.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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