Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This baby is an asshole
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
