Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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