who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
im holly from the hills drunk
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
