Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize