i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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